I can have a do-over, right?

So yesterday was one of those days.

A day that, were I to describe it to you, would not be believable. Nor would you believe that it all took place within a single three hour span of time.

But it did.

After having a good night's sleep though, I *can* look back upon it and actually smile. Though it's one of those smiles that you see on the face of a mental health patient after they receive their meds. Which, by the way, I think I will need.

Here are the things that happened:

Violet decided she wanted her "teeth to grow" so she locked herself into the bathroom and applied Baby Orajel all over her mouth.
After explaining to Violet that this was NOT good, we called "the doctor" (Miss Valerie) to tell her how it is very dangerous to use medicine and she could have DIED.
While that phone call was taking place, Riley was at the fish tank, placing all Violet's ceramic tea set pieces into the water. Apparently the fish wanted tea.
I brought the kids downstairs, and noticed the living room floor hadn't been swept, so I went to work doing that. Violet and Riley went to the computer room to play Nick Jr.com, which is something they have done plenty of times before.
Violet came running out of the computer room: "Riley's playing with the SEEEEE-DEEEEEEs!!"
Sure enough, he had gotten into our computer CD collection and was trying to put ALL THE CDs into the computer at once and trying to force the door shut. NICE.
I shooed them out of the computer room and put away the CDs.
When I came out of the computer room, I find Riley, pen in hand, his legs covered in pen marks.
Which means pen marks are somewhere else.
So I find them - all over the wedding photos that Lisa and Mark sent us. Pretty little circles on each person's face.
He's so creative.
On a side note, I fould out that baby wipes do a great job cleaning pen ink off glossy photos.
Oh and yes. Riley pooped.
FOUR TIMES.
While I was throwing away one of the four diapers, Riley decided to help with the dishes.
He emptied all the silverware into the trash.
All of it.
Such a helper.
Violet, meanwhile, decided to build a fairy fort in the living room. So down from her bedroom came every blanket and pillow possible.
While I was making lunch, Riley found one of my teaching tools - a plastic tube with teeny tiny styrofoam balls inside that demonstrates static electricity - and opened it up. Little teeny tiny static balls were EVERYWHERE in the living room that had JUST been swept clean.
I sat the kids down to eat and gave them each a juice box. I needed to take a potty break.
I came out of the bathroom to see Riley in the middle of the living room, waving and shaking around the now empty juice box, whose contents are covering the living room floor, rug, couch, and little itty bitty styrofoam balls.
Violet decided to be a helper and get some toilet paper from the bathroom to clean up the mess.
That got boring, so she instead started to tear the toilet paper into shreds and toss it in the air: "like confetti, Mom!!"

It was at that moment, as the toilet-paper-confetti rained down upon me, that I lost control. I yelled. I screamed. I cried. I spanked. And I put both kids to bed in their rooms and threatened them with their lives if they came out.

And, within a minute, both children were asleep.
The house was peaceful, once again.

I did my best to clean up the mess. But I was emotionally exhausted too. I stretched out on the couch and took a nap. It lasted 30 minutes, and then Riley woke up.

And the cycle continued. Pens. Paper. Toys. Poop. Riley scooping large cupfuls of water out of the toilet and pouring them onto the bedroom floor.

I got a call from a magazine asking for me to do a layout on a very short deadline - something that was a *total* piece of cake! All I needed to do was scan and print a photo using the photo restoration button on the scanner. No problem, except I noticed my color ink cartridge was out of yellows. I replaced it with a new one and printed the photo. It came out Magenta. No other colors were printing. I cleaned the heads, primed the printer, and reset the drivers.
Nothing worked. I thought it might be a bad cartridge, so I opened another one. This one the printer won't even accept.
My totally easy job was no longer easy. I had to call them back and let them know I could not fulfill my duities. They were very understanding.

I, on the other hand, think I want a do-over on yesterday. :p